True Confidence: The Two-Step Rule to Improve Your Performance and Drive


Self-Honesty and Introspection are two rules I live by. I consider these to be two of the most powerful tools to build confidence and improve performance in all areas of life. By making an honest assessment of your strengths, your weaknesses, your values, and your beliefs, you will start to see yourself more clearly; this is known as self-awareness. The key benefits behind this ancient practice are widely documented.

My favorite benefits rely on the following notion: high levels of self-awareness strongly correlate with increased confidence and drive, better decision-making skills, and long-term personal/spiritual fulfillment. The best tools for personal growth usually already exist within ourselves; we just might not know their value. Here are the five steps I practice to heighten True Internal Confidence in myself and others:

Step 1: Start with self-reflection
Introspection involves taking the time to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This can be done through journaling, meditation, or simply taking some quiet time to think. Ask yourself questions such as:

  • What are my values?
  • What are my strengths and weaknesses?
  • What motivates me?
  • What fears and limiting beliefs do I entertain on a daily basis?

Step 2: Accept yourself

Self-honesty involves accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all. It's important to be honest about your weaknesses and shortcomings, but also to recognize and celebrate your strengths and accomplishments. Embrace your unique qualities and the idea that everyone has areas for improvement.

Step 3: Identify areas for improvement
Self-honesty also involves identifying areas for improvement. Once you've reflected on your strengths and weaknesses, ask yourself: "What changes can I make to start improving my performance?" Be specific and realistic in your goals, and take small steps forward to achieve them. 

Step 4: Challenge limiting beliefs
Often, our lack of confidence is rooted in limiting beliefs that hold us back. Self-honesty involves recognizing these beliefs and reframing them. Ask yourself whether these beliefs are based on reality or on your own perceptions, and look for evidence that supports or refutes them. Start by calling yourself out when you notice you're entertaining excuses or self-talk that you know will hold you back.

Step 5: Celebrate your successes
Building confidence must include recognizing and celebrating your successes. As the old saying goes: "Acknowledgment makes the heart grow brighter." Whether it's a small accomplishment or a major achievement, take the time to acknowledge your hard work and give yourself credit and gratitude for what you've done. This will grow your momentum and motivate you to continue improving.

In addition to these steps, here's some key insights you can incorporate into your daily routine as a remainder to stay consistent and never give up:

  • Recognize that gaining confidence is part of a process, rather than a destination. It takes time and effort to develop self-awareness and challenge your limiting beliefs and fears. It's important to be patient with yourself and acknowledge that setbacks and challenges are a natural part of life. When this happens: reset and start again!
  • Self-honesty involves being open and receptive to feedback from others. Seeking out constructive feedback can help you identify blind spots and areas for improvement that you may not have noticed on your own.
  • It's important to also recognize the impact your sphere of influence or social environment has on you. Surrounding yourself with supportive and encouraging people will help you build confidence much faster, while being in an unsupportive or negative social environment can undermine your sense of value and self-worth fairly quickly.
  • Understand how True Internal Confidence (TIC) differs from a mindset of arrogance or overconfidence. Building true confidence involves recognizing your own strengths and abilities, while remaining humble and open to learning from your mistakes and learning others.

By incorporating introspection and self-honesty into your life, you'll build confidence to make better decisions and achieve your goals. So, start by reflecting on your values; acknowledging your strengths; deeply accepting yourself for who you are; and identify areas for improvement. Then, celebrate your successes without fail. Follow these steps to develop a deeper sense of self-awareness and clarity that will bring you ever closer to the most ideal you.


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